Dr Oz Suggests

What should my poop look like?

1 Comment May 08

What color should my poop be?There are few things that a man holds truly sacred. His dog, sure…his television, a given… and of course beer, his main food group. But there is a sanctuary that he places little else above, and that is his porcelain alter.

The daily opportunity to take 20 minutes, in his place of worship, to shut out the rest of the world is as necessary as breathing.

However, this sanctuary cannot be left alone by the prying eyes of the outside world…in steps Dr Oz.

No longer can we sit with a magazine in hand and place all the other cares of the world to the aside. Now we must concern ourselves with texture, smell, and shape of the daily deposit.

A man can no longer even poop in peace, without the long arm of Dr Oz reaching in and dragging him out of the water closet by the proverbial toilet paper tube. Dr Oz has placed so much emphasis onwhat our poop should look like; that now our poop has become a subject of conversation at the family dinner table. The ultimate, ‘behind the door personal time’ has developed into something you are expected to share with Aunt Janet because she seems to be the new family feces aficionado.

Is it too much to ask for Dr. Oz to leave alone the one true safe haven a man has left in this quilted, afghan world that has become today’s home?

Advice of the Day: Lie. Don’t get into a shouting match over what the wife thinks you ate yesterday which has caused your bowels to produce an unacceptable deposit. It’s your poop, and you call it what you like.

Dr Oz answers questions about Poop!

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1 comment

  1. 3 Olives says:

    I agree with you, a mans time is sacred, don’t violate it with what is wrong and what is right.


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