Recently the almighty Oz gave forth his 10 Commandments of weight loss. We read them…well ok… we looked at them and made sure he actually had the full 10. We can confirm they were there. However, here at ihatedroz.com we are certainly not to be outdone, and definitely not by Dr Oz. So we have come up with our own, Top 10 Ways Towards a Smaller Waist Line. Listen up boys, we are here to help.
- Thou shall not eat cheese nachos after 1AM. Ok seriously this is just really a bad idea. You just know eating this meal that late will most likely spike a serious need to use ‘the throne’ within 8 hours, and you really just shouldn’t be up that early on the weekend—unless it’s football season which may cause you to miss the opening kickoff because you are on the can.
- Thou shall not eat chips—all the way until the bag is empty. Save some of those golden nuggets of joy boys. Eating all at once is really just silly because you know there will be a time when you need to sneak some when the wife isn’t looking. Plan ahead and either save a few, or stash an extra bag somewhere where she will never find it.
- One will wear thy belt one notch tighter. Crank it down man. This will make your entire day uncomfortable so it will be a constant reminder to lose some weight. Nothing can be more vivid reminder then that belt buckle pinching belly hair all day long.
- Thou shall use larger plates. Dr Oz states how piling food higher than 1” on your plate is a faux pas. EXCELLENT advice. Get a bigger plate man, spread that grub out. Once again, the enlightenment of Dr Oz amazes.
- Thou shall not eat standing up. This is taken DIRECTLY from the list of Dr Oz. Gentlemen, please do not eat standing up. Sit back, take it easy, and just relax. If there is some way you can convince the wife to bring you a sandwich while lounging on the couch, all the better. That feat is another list, but hey, we can dream.
- Thou shall watch thy red meat consumption. Come on guys, we are all at fault here. We eat too much red meat. Chips, hot wings, and mozzarella sticks are staple foods. Do not ignore them! You must adhere to this guys, it is Dr Oz approved.
- 7 Through 10…I mean seriously trying to follow 10 rules all at once is just a little difficult. The wife constantly points out that we have trouble remembering two things at once, and if we could recall what else she said, we would help you guys out and reiterate it here for you.
We have rules in our life men and it’s merely a matter of us observing the guidelines set before us. There’s effort needed here for sure, but we have faith that with our help, you too can perform at your highest ability. Our waistline is very important to our wives…just listen to us, and it’ll all be good.