Men, I’ve long since lost count of the number of things my wife has done to me in the name of my health. The pills, the concoctions, the exercises…there is just too many to name. But this is a first. Now she wants me to bleed for her. Yes, you read that correctly boys, she is going to literally start to require some of your actual blood. Dr Oz brought up the issue of diabetes today guys, and now you get to donate a bit of your blood on top of everything else.
|As I sat there aghast watching the show, coming to the realization of what was about to occur, I glanced at my wife to see that glazed ‘omg…Dr Oz is right!’ look in her eyes. She’s going to actually make you bleed!! I am literally going to see my own blood in the name of Dr Oz and my health. I thought it was unhealthy to bleed!?!? Nope. Where some science says that in the future blood sugar may be monitored in your tears or through the skin itself, we are still currently in the age of breaking the skin and seeing our own crimson.|
So why you ask. Why, oh WHY is this man and my wife now bleeding me. Well, Dr Oz points out that it is not only high blood sugar and diabetes tough on all your organs, (namely the eyes and kidneys) but it is also being linked to memory difficulties and Alzheimer’s. Sigh…so now no sugar intake!?!? Seriously!?! Well, not exactly. You see you can continue to have some sugar, but increased exercise and activity will help combat any extra sugar you may consume. Hence, we are right back where we started…no comfy chair and certainly no extra piece of chocolate cake. Let the blood flow all in the name of love for your wife, and Dr Oz standing behind her smiling like the Cheshire cat.
The small unassuming pen like device will not scare you on sight. It looks very tame. I have to admit my wife actually giggled a bit when she grabbed my finger and dabbed it with alcohol. I really wasn’t paying attention because she starved me for 12 hours first so the coolness of the alcohol swab barely registered. Then the thing snaps and searing pain shoots from your finger tip to your elbow. As your vision clears through the haze of pain and slew of cusswords ends, her laughing will slow. She’ll then take a small little strip of paper and dab it with your blood. Your job is now over so take a breather and grab breakfast. However, if that little gizmo reads over 100, look out!! Your world is about to really change. Yet, truly guys, if she has gotten one of these blood sucking monitors, you’re already sunk.
Advice of the day: Don’t try sneaking your sweets on the way home from work. That little device will find the sugar, and your blood won’t lie. Offer to take your own readings and when she’s not looking stick the cat. It will probably freak out the monitor and she’ll eventually catch you, but hey, at least you got out of a few finger pokes.