A Man Would Understand

How to get out of yard work

3 Comments September 25

Ah the fall time. Every mans dream time of the year. I’m sure many of you understand my line of thinking here…football. You bet ya baby, football season. However, there is so much more to the fall then just the NFL and NCAA. Fall time, is mans time, and where I do not want to be the wet blanket on such a wonderful season, there are some points of concern. Let me share a few thoughts on how to get out of yard work.

First off, football outweighs everything. Numero uno…the King…untouchable. Next, the fall brings rain. Rain means less yard work. Two for two…both homeruns baby! Add in new television show season, and we have the trifecta of perfection. That’s right boys, lousy weather and lots of comfortable TV to watch. Fall time RULES.

Yet…new TV shows does bring the wife to the television as well. Herein lays danger my friends. Your perfect world will soon come to an end because you know she will end up watching brand new episodes of Dr Oz. The good doctor has spent all summer long concerned with our eating habits and fitness—something that we have spent all summer screwing up with barbeques and cheap beer. Once again we are faced with our better half determined to crush this lovely season. To have Dr Oz speak the truth about our lazy ways and beer consumption drives a dagger in this feel good time. Leave it to the good doctor to be the voice of reason and our source of our pain.

So I say live in the moment and follow my lead: Plan on 10 hours of college ball on Saturday and 12 hours of NFL Sunday. Don’t worry about the grass and forget the piling leaves. Fall time is ours. We own it. And when she sits down and you see blue scrub garbed Dr Oz hit the screen…panic and say, “Yes dear,” along with me as we turn off the game and grab the rake.

Advice of the Day: Pray for sickness. You may feel like garbage, but a well timed cold might let you catch all the weekend games.

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Your Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Lava Lamp says:

    I guess I never thought about actually wishing for sickness to get the chance to watch a little football, but I sure liek that idea!!

  2. Eric Mazzi says:

    I do not hate the oz man but lets face it men, he is a real pain in the neck. This happened to me recently—
    Imagine you worked 12 hours and were waking up from a nap to grab a cup of joe and before you could get it even poured your wife asks you to stick your tongue out and say aaaaaaaa, well I could not even wake up and the wife was insisting I do this, so I did, now I am being told that my tongue being coated is an issue of re flux at night and that I am on my way to dying from this causing asperative pneumonia. What the hell is this a good morning kiss?? Now I have to take acid reducing crap pills and this is just the beginning of the crap I have to do, I have to take my blood pressure everyday before I am aloud to even drink coffee. I have to change my eating habits, I feel like a bear in hibernation this is all because of Dr. Oz, thanks Dr Oz for complicating the hell out of my life and every other man that you railroaded.

  3. Oz Hater says:

    Eric our kindred brother, we HEAR you! It’s the world of Oz and our wives are driving the bus for his tour.

    Take care good sir, and remember that you are not alone and we here at ihatedroz feel your pain. Best of luck with the blood pressure and the acid reflux.

    On that note, you seem a little out of sorts…maybe a weekend of relaxing can help reduce that blood pressure just a few more points! ;)


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