How to get out of yard work

Ah the fall time. Every mans dream time of the year. I’m sure many of you understand my line of thinking here…football. You bet ya baby, football season. However, there is so much more to the fall then just the NFL and NCAA. Fall time, is mans time, and where I do not want to be the wet blanket on such a wonderful season, there are some points of concern. Let me share a few thoughts on how to get out of yard work.

First off, football outweighs everything. Numero uno…the King…untouchable. Next, the fall brings rain. Rain means less yard work. Two for two…both homeruns baby! Add in new television show season, and we have the trifecta of perfection. That’s right boys, lousy weather and lots of comfortable TV to watch. Fall time RULES.

Yet…new TV shows does bring the wife to the television as well. Herein lays danger my friends. Your perfect world will soon come to an end because you know she will end up watching brand new episodes of Dr Oz. The good doctor has spent all summer long concerned with our eating habits and fitness—something that we have spent all summer screwing up with barbeques and cheap beer. Once again we are faced with our better half determined to crush this lovely season. To have Dr Oz speak the truth about our lazy ways and beer consumption drives a dagger in this feel good time. Leave it to the good doctor to be the voice of reason and our source of our pain.

So I say live in the moment and follow my lead: Plan on 10 hours of college ball on Saturday and 12 hours of NFL Sunday. Don’t worry about the grass and forget the piling leaves. Fall time is ours. We own it. And when she sits down and you see blue scrub garbed Dr Oz hit the screen…panic and say, “Yes dear,” along with me as we turn off the game and grab the rake.

Advice of the Day: Pray for sickness. You may feel like garbage, but a well timed cold might let you catch all the weekend games.