Dr Oz Suggests

Orgasms are the Key to Long Life

0 Comments November 04

Dr. Oz Health Test

Dear friends, I have been enlightened. The brilliance of Dr Oz cannot be overshadowed by the darkest of clouds. Let me explain.

After a long work day I sit down to finally have a breath to myself and I am thrown into complete misery. Dr Oz has a health quiz to take (To take the quiz click here), and I know my life is about to dramatically change. My first reaction is to of course panic. Just how many of my vices am I going to lose in one sitting? What unpalatable concoction is she going to make me ingest now? I watch my wife’s eyes gleam with anticipation, and allow my stomach to empty its contents.

Then we get to question number ten. Oh lovely, heaven sent, number ten. Dr Oz reveals that we should have 200 orgasms per year. Yes, gentlemen, that is a 2 with TWO zeros behind it. Given 365 days per year, that is an average of 1 every 1.825 days. DOCTOR OZ IS THE MOST INTELLIGENT MAN ON THE PLANET!

Once my wife sits me back down, takes the pom-poms from me, and gets me to stop muttering ‘200 hehe, haha…’ at a near feverish pitch, she attempts to get me to watch the rest of the show. There were other questions to be sure, but I cannot really recall any of them. 200 times per year! It was a new found gold mine that Dr Oz reveals could add 6 years to our life. Six extra years added to our life to do one of the few things we are REALLY good at. OK, so something maybe not really ‘good at’, but certainly enjoy. And think, 6 extra years at 200 times per year means and additional 1200 orgasms! It just keeps getting better and better.

Here is my thinking. I can back off on the perfect diet so long as I reach 200, I’m gold. I’ll sacrifice a few years for beer…I mean who wouldn’t? Especially when I can get those years back by reaching the magic number of 200!

Advice of the Day:
Place posters of ‘200’ throughout your house and especially in the garage. It really won’t do any good because she’ll ignore the facts anyway, but at least you’ll feel better.

Go to the Oprah website and take the quiz that will change your life!
To take the 200 orgasm a year quiz click here.

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